She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
