I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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