No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
