once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
