your room smells of hookers.
And success
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
