we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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