I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
