I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
