I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
