i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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