I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
