At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
