Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
