He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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