youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
