Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
