covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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