you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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