We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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