We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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