OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize