and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
