Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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