I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
