Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize