...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
there was a trapeze. enough said
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We need to get me chipped asap
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
