You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
