I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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