If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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