my mouth tastes like poor choices
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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