as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
