Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
