Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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