i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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