Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
