I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
