he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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