great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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