So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
did i walk over a car last night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
