He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
