Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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