"it" just moved
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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