Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
As shirtless as possible
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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