Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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