I wanna bring you to show and tell
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize