3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
