I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
