He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
