??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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