im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
