my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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