hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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