Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
