The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
