im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
