wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize