You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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