It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I forgot how hot balto sounded
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
