we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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