So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
