I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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