She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize