Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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