Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You took a bar mat shot.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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