Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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