he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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