Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
