I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
