So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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