Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
