Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
