the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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