Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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