I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
