Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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