There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
