I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
